xgirls cel block tango
by diff-r-ent-1
Summary: the xgirls are getting irritated by their lovers so they want to make this clear to them in an original way. By performing on the talent show at school they are giving them a warning. Jonda, romy, , jott, kurt Amanda, rolo, kiotr


**Okay so this is a oneshot I just had to write!!! It came up to me like in a dream!! **

**Summary: the x-girls are getting irritated by their lovers so they want to make this clear to them in an original way. By performing on the talent show at school they are giving them a warning. Jonda, romy, jott, kurt/ Amanda, ro-lo, kiotr**

**Disclaimer: don't own anything!!!**

**Ps: I'm not good at accents (not even in my own language so I won't use them, you can imagine them if you want ******

"That's it I've had it!!!!" that's what all five girls (well actually 4 gilrs and a woman)said while entering the same room. They looked at each other and started laughing. After a while each female explained what was wrong and they came to one conclusion. Men! Men were everyone's problems so they decided to do something about it. They started planning but came soon to the conclusion they needed an extra person.

"Does anyone know someone who could be of help to us? help us?"

"yes actually, ms munroe I have a person in mind that would do perfectly!! And I think she will be willing to help us out here."

"Like, who is it Rogue?"

"Amanda."

"of course !! we should have thought about her sooner!!"

"eh jean ? who's Amanda ?"

"oh that's right wanda like doesn't know Amanda yet!! Well Amanda's like Kurt's girlfriend… and I'm sure she will help us out. So does anyone have her phone nummer?"

_5 minutes later_

"with Amanda"

"hey Amanda, it's like Kitty here. Look could you like help us out here? We are planning something and we're like one man, well actually woman, short. So think you could like help us out?"

"that depends on what you are planning and who "we" actually is"

so Kitty explained the whole thing to Amanda and Amanda agreed almost immediately (she thought it would be one hell of a joke and that it would be fun to help them out).

So they started practising and preparing.

Finally the day had come!! everyone gathered at the school's auditorium to see the talent show.

The first acts were kind of nice but not to impressive. But then thé moment arrived.

6 chairs were set backwards on the podium and our 6 favourite girls took their seat on it with their face to the public but covered by the shadows of the hats they were wearing.

**(you know those hats that the guy's wore in the time of Al Capone)**

The audience couldn't see it yet but the six of them were wearing black leather outfits that were revealing a lot of skin. ( even Rogue since she had mastered her powered a long while ago).

Wanda was wearing a corset that made her breasts look bigger and a very short skirt with a split at the side so she could move better to finish her look she was wearing high heels (for the first time in her life). Her hair grown a lot in the last time and reached her shoulders know.

Rogue was wearing a one sleeved top that stopped at just above her belly button, and had kind of a low cut so it showed a rather large part of her breasts( not that big but more than people who knew her were used to) further more she wore a very tight short and high heeled boots. Her hair laid around her head in wavy curls except for the white strings.

Jean was wearing a regular tank top and a hip hugging Capri with ankle booths. It hugged her in all the right places. It showed out her curves and if Scott would see her he would start to drool. Her hair was put up with a few strings lose.

Amanda just wore a simple leather dress and high heels.

(**sorry that I don't describe her much but the fic isn't really about her)**

Ororo was looking hot! Simply said. She was wearing a long skirt (it reached her ankles) but at the side it had a split that reached almost up to her thigh. Her top was strapless and her shoes were very elegant. Her hair was combed to the side mostly and looked very sexy.

Kity looked .. like someone else. Her top was hold together with three knots on her back. Her skirt looked like a cheerleader's skirt and her high-heeled boots reached her knees. Her hair was lose and curly.

_then they were announced:_

"And now the 6 merry mutant murderesses of the Bayville jail in their rendition of the cell block tango"

and as the music started so did they:

[WANDA  
Pop!

[ROGUE  
Six!

[JEAN  
Squish!

[AMANDA  
Uh Uh

[ORORO  
Cicero 

[KITTY  
Lipschitz!

[WANDA  
Pop!

[ROGUE  
Six!

[JEAN  
Squish!

[AMANDA  
Uh Uh

[ORORO  
Cicero 

[KITTY  
Lipschitz!

[WANDA  
Pop!

[ROGUE  
Six!

[JEAN  
Squish!

[AMANDA  
Uh Uh

[ORORO  
Cicero 

[KITTY  
Lipschitz!  
[WANDA  
Pop!

[ROGUE  
Six!

[JEAN  
Squish!

[AMANDA  
Uh Uh

[ORORO  
Cicero 

[KITTY  
Lipschitz!

[WANDA  
Pop!

[ROGUE  
Six!

[JEAN  
Squish!

[AMANDA  
Uh Uh

[ORORO  
Cicero

[KITTY  
Lipschitz!

[ALL  
He had it coming  
He had it coming  
He only had himself to blame  
If you'd have been there  
If you'd have seen it

[ORORO  
I betcha you would have done the same!

[WANDA  
Pop!

[ROGUE  
Six!

[JEAN  
Squish!

[AMANDA  
Uh Uh

[ORORO  
Cicero

[KITTY  
Lipschitz!

Every time someone said something she would lift her head. And now they threw the hats away.

[WANDA(Spoken)  
You know how people have these little habits That get you down.

Like _**John**_.  
_**John**_ liked to chew gum.  
No, not chew. POP.  
So I came home this one day  
And I am really irritated, and I'm  
looking for a bit of sympathy  
and there's Bernie layin'  
on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'.

No, not chewin'.  
Poppin'.

So, I said to him,  
I said, "you pop that gum one more time..."  
and he did.  
So I took the shotgun off the wall  
and I fired two warning shots...  
...into his head. 

the fact that she had switched "Bernie" with "John" didn't went unnoticed. But that was only the first thing that they had planned. The first thing that shocked John was the way His girlfriend looked.

The next thing was that images were being projected in his head.

Him and wanda lying next to each other in bed smiling.

Him playing with his zippo.

Him not helping with chores in the house.

Him laying on the couch lazily.

And finally him smacking against a wall and sliding down.

Wanda was just finished with her part. She had been dancing very seductively on the stage and was very pleased with the way John looked. Apparently her memories had had the right effect.

(that was an other part of the plan. All the girls had given some of their memories to Jean and she would send them into the boy's head.)

[GIRLS  
He had it coming  
He had it coming  
He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there  
If you'd have heard it  
I betcha you would  
Have done the same! 

[ROGUE (Spoken)  
I met _**Remy Lebeau **_from  
_**New Orleans**_ about two years ago  
and he told me he was single  
and we hit it off right away.  
So, we started living together.  
He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, We'd have dinner.  
And then I found out,  
"Single" he told me?  
Single, my ass. Not only was he married  
...oh, no, he had six wives.  
One of those Mormons, you know. So that night, when he came home, I fixed him his drink as usual.  
You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic. 

Just like with John images were being projected in Remy's head. Not that he noticed it first cause he was to intoxicated with the way Rogue looked.

Him giving Rogue the exploding card when they first met.

Him and rogue during the "kidnapping"

Him moving in with the x-men.

Her seeing him lying next to her when waking up.

Him with Belladonna in his arms

Her shouting at him for not telling her that he had a fiancée

Him flirting with different girls

At last him falling of a chair after drinking a beer

(that was from an drinking contest they had held ones but Remy didn't know that)

[WANDA, ROGUE, JEAN, KITTY  
Hah! He had it coming  
He had it coming  
He took a flower  
In its prime  
And then he used it  
And he abused it  
It was a murder  
But not a crime!

[ORORO ANDAMANDA  
Pop, six, squish, uh-uh  
Cicero, Lipschitz 

[JEAN (Spoken)  
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen  
carvin' up the chicken for dinner,  
minding my own business,  
and in storms my husband Wilbur,  
in a jealous rage.  
"You been screwin' the milkman,"  
he says. He was crazy  
and he kept screamin',  
"you been screwin the milkman."  
And then he ran into my knife.  
He ran into my knife ten times.."

Scott was shocked to see his Jean dressed like that. He was already giving evil glares to a guy that had whistled at her. But then he got the images (only this time rogue was sending them 'cause Jean couldn't send them while singing.

The two of them hugging.

Him giving a jealous look at a boy that ahd asked her a question about homework.

Him asking her what a certain boy had talked to her about.

Him giving jealous looks.  
Him giving jealous looks.

Him giving jealous looks.

Him giving jealous looks.

…

him being smacked into a sharp rock.

(okay so it was only a simulation but still..)

[ALL  
If you'd have been there  
If you'd have seen it  
I betcha you would have done the same!

[AMANDA(Spoken)  
Mit keresek, én itt? Azt mondják,  
hogy a híres lakem lefogta a férjemet én meg  
lecsaptam a fejét. De nem igaz, én ártatlan  
vagyok. Nem tudom miért mondja  
Uncle Sam, hogy én tettem. Probáltam  
a rendõrségen megmagyarázni de nem értették meg...

(**the translation of this part can be found at the end of this fic.**)

[Jean (Spoken)  
Yeah, but did you do it?

AMANDA  
UH UH, not guilty!

Kurt was already getting nervous and was wondering what he had done wrong. The others had told their friends why they were holding their heads and closed their eyes while their girlfriends were singing. So he wondered what he could have possibly done to upset his girl.

Then the images came and he began to smile.

Her explaining that she was needed to play the innocent one.

Him and her kissing

Him and her at the beach

Him and her holding hands

…

now it was ms Munroe's turn and everybody thought she was (just like Amanda) needed 'cause they were one woman short. Well everybody except one!!

[ORORO  
My sister, _**Raven **_and  
I had this double act  
and my husband, _**Logan**_,  
traveled around with us.  
Now, for the last number in  
our act, we did 20 acrobatic tricks  
one two three four,five...splits, spread eagles,  
back flips,flip flops,  
one right after the other.  
Well, this one night we were in the hotel Cicero,  
the three of us,   
boozin' and  
havin' a few laughs  
when we run out of ice.  
So I went out to get some.  
I come back, open the door  
and there's _**Raven **_and  
_**Logan**_ doing Number Seventeen-  
the spread eagle.

Well, I was in such a state of shock,  
I completely blacked out.I can't remember a thing.  
It wasn't until later,  
when I was washing the blood off my hands  
I even knew they were dead.

They had it coming  
They had it coming  
They had it coming all along  
I didn't do it  
But if I'd done it  
How could you tell me that I was wrong? 

Everybody looked at logan in shock, but he didn't notice since he was holding his head.

(but not before taking a really good look at Ororo's outfit.)

he already knew what this was about but still wanted to know which images he would see.

The two of them having a picnic.

The two of them on his motorbike.

Him grabbing and kissing her.

But then it came:

Her coming into her room and seeing him holding an second Ororo in his arms. An Ororo that later appears to be Mystique.

A voice in Logan's head tells him that she wasn't shocked about the two of them together. But the fact tha Logan hadn't noticed it wasn't her!!

[ORORO  
They had it coming  
[GIRLS  
They had it coming  
[ORORO  
They had it coming  
[GIRLS  
They had it coming  
[ORORO  
They had it coming  
[GIRLS  
They took a flower  
[ORORO  
All along  
[GIRLS  
In its prime  
[ORORO  
I didn't do it   
[GIRLS  
And then they used it  
[ORORO  
But if I'd done it  
[GIRLS  
And they abused it  
[ORORO  
How could you tell me  
[GIRLS  
It was a murder  
[ORORO  
That I was wrong?  
[GIRLS  
But not a crime! 

now it was kitty's turn, and everybody was looking at lance, wondering what he had done this time…

[KITTY(spoken)  
I loved _**Piotr Rasputin**_  
more than I can possibly say.  
He was a real artistic guy...  
sensitive... a painter.  
But  
He was always trying  
to find himself.  
He'd go out every night  
looking for himself  
and on the way  
he found Ruth,  
Gladys,  
Rosemary and Irving.  
I guess you can say we broke  
up because of artistic differences.  
He saw himself as alive  
and I saw him dead.

Imagine the shocked looks on everyone's faces when they heard Piotr's name and not Lance's.

(piotr was shocked most of all)

"my my this is a most interesting evening isn't it?" Beast said dryly.

Piotr was very confused. But then the images came and he began to understand.

Her drawing a hart around his name in class.

Her watching him drawing a sketch of something underneath a try.

But then…

Him flirting with one girl

And another

And another

And another

And eventually him leaning on a guy he doesn't knows

(how the hell would she have known that Remy had gotten him drunk that night?)

end then him lying unconscious

(a memory from one of Logan's training)

[ALL  
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum  
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

[WANDA,ROGUE,KITTY  
They had it comin'   
[ORORO,JEAN,AMANDA  
They had it comin'  
[WANDA,ROGUE,KITTY  
They had it comin'  
[ORORO,JEAN,AMANDA  
They had it comin'  
[WANDA,ROGUE,KITTY  
They had it comin'  
[ORORO,JEAN,AMANDA  
They had it comin'  
[WANDA,ROGUE,KITTY  
All along  
[ORORO,JEAN,AMANDA  
All along  
'Cause if they used us  
'Cause if they used us And they abused us  
And they abused us  
[WANDA,ROGUE,KITTY  
How could you tell us  
[ORORO,JEAN,AMANDA  
How could you tell us That we were wrong?  
That we were wrong?

He had it coming  
He had it coming  
He only had  
Himself  
To blame.  
If you'd have been there  
If you'd have seen it  
I betcha  
You would  
Have done  
The same!

[WANDA (Spoken)  
You pop that gum one more time!

[ROGUE (spoken)  
Single my ass.

[JEAN (Spoken)  
Ten times!

[AMANDA (Spoken)  
Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe.

[ORORO (Spoken)  
Number seventeen-the spread eagle.

[KITTY (Spoken)  
Artistic differences.  
[WANDA  
Pop!

[ROGUE  
Six!

[JEAN  
Squish!

[AMANDA  
Uh Uh (squeezing necklace)

[ORORO  
Cicero (smoke puffs)

[KITTY  
Lipschitz!

everytime someone had spoken they had risen and danced seductively. But as soon as they were done they sat down again.

After they were done the jury needed a bit of time to discuss (since they were the last act) but not to long and when they came back they announced a not so strange result: the six merry mutant murderesses had won!!

But that wasn't even the best of the evening.

John promised he would do more household chores and would play less with his zippo.

Scott would try to be less jealous

(something that wasn't easy since several guy's were whistling at Jean.)

Logan explained that Mystique hadn't said a word and had worn Ororo's perfume so he couldn't have known it wasn't her.

Amanda and Kurt never had a problem.

Piotr explained his behaviour of that one night to Kitty and showed him the sketch he was drawing of her.

(and all the others he had already made of her)

And Remy? Let's just say he made up for everything he had done wrong to rogue in his own way…

**The translation of Amanda's piece:**

**What am doing here? They say my famous lover held down my husband while I chopped off his head. But it isn't true, I am innocent. I don't know why Uncle Sam says I did it. I tried to explain it at the police station but they didn't understand me. **

**So this was it. The mutant cell block tango. Hope you enjoyed it. Please review people and if you feel like it, visit my profile. I have 2 ideas for a x-ùmen story but I don't have the time to write them (and I can't write good enough to write them) but if someone wants to or wants to co-write them with me (I think I'm able to do that) let me know something )**

**Bye…**

**seyin**


End file.
